Sometimes we agree to things that we don’t want to agree on just to keep the peace.

Sometimes we react in ways that’s expected of us and not because it is what we want.

Sometimes we ignore that nagging voice in our heads. . . telling us that it’s wrong

Sometimes we ignore what’s in our hearts because we think it’s not right… it can’t be right.

Sometimes we do things that our hearts & minds tell us is just not right anymore… but we still go ahead and do it so the other would feel better.

I wonder when the sometimes would be enough times.  And we finally admit that whatever was there is gone now.

Or maybe muted… or shadowed … or maybe it really is gone…

Have you ever felt that the “love” or “affection” you feel for someone is just a vague reflection of what was once a starburst of feeling?

I read somewhere once that sometimes love just runs out… that when love ends, it doesn’t necessarily mean that what you had was fake.  Doesn’t mean that the love you felt at the beginning wasn’t true and soulfully felt.  It just means that love has faded…. But the affection remains. Right?.... right.

Nothing is right anymore.  Everything he does irritates me.  Mostly  I don’t feel anything at all.  Which is even scarier. When you don’t care anymore…when you are void of all emotion… that is bad.

I dunno what to do about my lack of emotion.  I mean, I “know” what to do.. the rational thing to do… but somehow… I still keep making excuses.  Why? Does some hidden, deep part of me know better? I wish I could undergo hypnosis.  And have it recorded.  I want to know how my inner “me” is feeling… what its thinking.

What do you do when you can’t trust yourself? I’m a mess.